QUERY CORNER – Successful Queries

Today I’m going to post another query that received a lot of requests. This one belongs to my lovely beta reader, Jackie. This story was amazing, and her query landed her several requests. It does the job of getting attention! Check it out:

Dear Agent, (Of course, the agent’s name goes here)

Seventeen-year-old Hadley Blake has the ability to heal others and herself, but her skills go beyond what other Menders can do. Giving life back to someone within the first hour of their death is what earns her a spot at Orion, a behavior center for supernatural teens. (This paragraph, and last sentence, should hook the agent/editor and make them want to read more)

Jiu-jitsu is a staple at Orion and crushing on sexy martial arts trainer, Donovan Graham, is a welcomed distraction for Hadley. Campus hottie, Gage Ryder, attempts to change that, and she winds up falling for him, too.

Love will have to wait because Orion’s head doctor has other plans for her and her little Lazarus act. Fight to the death, revive, repeat is Dr. Ramsey’s motto. Hadley learns he makes money off forcing the kids to fight in cage matches using their powers. She also discovers the center is full of aliens. The doctor’s been injecting the kids with alien blood to give them powers in the first place.

Hadley must find a way to stop him or else remain a slave in his fight club—or worse. She could end up dead. (These paragraphs should read like the back cover a book—it should sound enticing and interesting without giving too much away)

BREATHE FOR ME is my 80,000 word young adult sci-fi and is a standalone with series potential. Per submission requirements, I've pasted the first five pages below. (This paragraph includes the title, word count, genre, and lists any submission guidelines that were followed)

Thank you for your time and consideration. (It is always a good idea to thank them for their time and close the letter professionally)

All the best,

Jackie Felger (Following your name would be any contact information—address, phone number, email address, and website, social media links)

If you would like to find Jackie online, she blogs over at http://jackiefelger.blogspot.com/ and loves to hear from fellow writers, both aspiring and published!

Feel free to comment on her query or offer up any tips you have that get queries noticed!

Kimmy :)

TRIANGLES, Kimberly Ann Miller, Spencer Hill Press, June 2013

HOW DO YOU REVISE?

This topic is close to my heart because I am currently revising for my wonderful editors at Spencer Hill Press. For me, revision comes easy. I love revising and improving my manuscript. The way I do it is simple—I read through the suggestions, whether they come from my betas, critique partners, agents, or editors. Then I take the simplest suggestion first and implement it, then the next easiest, then the next easiest, ending with the hardest change to make.

For example, I received a revise and resubmit request from a wonderful agent last fall. It was three pages long, and it did wonders for my manuscript. Though she ultimately passed, she did like the changes I made. I did, too. How did I tackle those three pages? Like I said above, I made the easiest changes first. One suggestion was to remove a scene that was hokey, so I simply deleted it. Another easy suggestion was to delete a few scenes that had been repetitive, so I went through and deleted half of those scenes. Easy!

The harder suggestions took more thought and planning. For example, this agent suggested developing the relationship between two characters further, so I looked for areas in the manuscript in which I could show some of their history and current interactions and added more depth and detail. The overall result? A better manuscript that landed me my book deal with Spencer Hill!

Don’t fear revision. Embrace the changes that make your manuscript better. If you disagree with them or they don’t match the tone or theme of your story, then the choice is yours. But if they make sense to you, or they even excite you, or more than one person makes the same suggestion, consider moving forward with them to make your story shine. Our beta readers, critique partners, agents, and editors are here to make our books better. Let them guide your book to publication!

Kimmy :) 

TRIANGLES, Kimberly Ann Miller, Spencer Hill Press, June 2013

What I learned at the NJSCBWI Annual Conference

This weekend the New Jersey chapter of the Society of Children’s Books Writers and Illustrators had its annual conference. It was a three day affair filled with workshops, critiques, inspirational keynote speakers and book fairs that took me from high highs (Love your character! She is so well developed.) to low lows (You overwrite! What does your character really want?) and gave me the super power to say no (more) to coffee.  Along the way, I learned a few things…

Say hello. Conferences, especially, those as big as the NJSCBWI one, can be intimidating. Everyone seems to be chatting with everyone else and it’s easy to become a wallflower or a chair warmer. Make friends. Attendees at the conference are writers following their dreams. Just like you. Simply say hello and you may meet your next critique partner or beta reader.

Critiques are opinions. Take them with a grain of salt. I know you’ve heard this many times but it bears repeating. You need to pick and choose what you are going to change about your manuscript. The temptation to accept every suggestion that a senior editor recommends can be too much. An unusually tough critique can bring you down. In the end, it comes down to how well you are practicing your craft. Are you committed to becoming a better writer? Do you have faith in yourself and your story? Whatever I write in my feedback comments as a critique or whatever an agent writes can only be validated by you.

Your work is not perfect. That’s OK! Is your ‘conceit’ original? Does your story make sense? Are your characters well developed? Do you have a voice? If yes, then throw yourself into the process of pitching, submitting, and of course, revising.

Finally, don’t forget to submit your work! Polish up your query and those first fifteen pages that the editor discussed with you, paste them in the body of your email and hit the send button as soon as you can!

Good luck at your conferences!

THE VALUE OF CRITIQUE PARTNERS

I had the good fortune of having an honest person critique my very first book – my sister. Though family members tend to praise and fear hurting our feelings, she was brutally honest to the point of tearing the book to shreds. Why would I say, then, that I was fortunate to have her? The answer is simple: she taught me how to accept criticism and use it to my advantage.

No writer should be without a critique partner or two and a few good beta readers. They can be found all over the web. I found my critique group through the SCBWI website and my beta readers through the QueryTracker.net forums. Without the help of these wonderful men and women, I would be lost.

Each person brings a different perspective to your story and a different method of critiquing. Whether they go line by line suggesting changes or just comment on the things they see are not working, every piece of advice will bring your story one step closer to perfection. And isn’t that what we all strive to achieve?

Do yourself and your book a favor. If you don’t share your work with anyone for whatever reason, find the courage to get a trusted reader or two who will give you honest feedback. You won’t regret it. 

Kimmy :)

TRIANGLES, Kimberly Ann Miller, Spencer Hill Press, June 2013