Why Doubt is OK

I’m a plotter. Writing mysteries means that I need to know how my character is going to cross obstacles, find clues and get to the bottom of things, alive, and in one piece by the end of the story. Many times, during revision, after I’ve read or re-written a scene a creeper of doubt will start to grow. ‘Does this sound plausible?’ doubt will ask me. ‘Is it believable?’ it will nag at me. My first reaction is to dig up that creeper and chuck it as far away from me as possible. ‘Think positive’ I tell myself. Don’t second guess yourself. Doubt isn’t going to help you finish the story.

My second reaction is different. I wait. For that creeper to re-grow. It usually does. This time I don’t run away from that feeling of doubt. I look at it. While it grows I examine it. After the examination, I pat myself on the back. ‘I’ve faced doubt,’ I tell myself. ‘Now, time to move on to the next scene.’

But it doesn’t end there. If there is every even a niggling thought in the corner of my mind ‘does my character stay true to herself?’ ‘does the scene ring true to the story arc?’ ‘would someone really use feng shui to increase luck in her life?’ that creeper of doubt will return and re-grow until I face it square in the face and do a re-write.

Doubt keeps our compass pointing true. It allows us to move from one point of view to another and view the facts with truth. It’s uncomfortable! It’s painful! Doubt isn’t an easy emotion to allow yourself to feel, especially, when you’re trying to keep positive through a revision. Doubt, I’m constantly afraid, can lead me to a dead standstill. I may get the ‘I’m no good! Why am I even trying to write this story!? Let me pick another story’ feelings. But when I do allow doubt to linger, when I look at it without negative connotations and allow it to swim steady in my head I start to pick apart the various pieces in my scene. I examine each bit like a true Nancy Drew –clearly and without judgment. It gets me energized to re-think the scene from a different angle, to ask the what-if questions and then think up answers to write a stronger, better scene.

What do you think? Do you say ‘hello’ to doubt or ask it to take a hike?

Hail to Introverts

I have a strange defense against my natural introversion. I force myself to be an extrovert. After all, I can catch up on my reading once I return home from an evening out. I can write after I’ve finished mingling with the crowd, matching names to faces. Being an introvert, it had been drilled into me, was not the path to success. Learning to work in a team, socializing and small talk were the ticket. Extroverts were the ones who got things done. They were the leaders who took charge and got the bacon home.

Today, there’s a whiff of change in the air. Introversion is the new IT girl. Move over small talk magicians. Get in line social butterflies. The introvert is getting all the attention. Not that we really want the attention. But from the New York Times  to Susan Cain’s new book ‘Quiet’ introverts are getting street cred that was generally reserved for the chest beaters and those artistes of self-promotion.

As summer conference season begins, many of my writer friends and I put on our extrovert hats and step out to socialize. Even without it, we’re blogging (I know! I know!), tweeting, facebooking so that we’re seen as extroverts not afraid to face the world of PR, marketing and advertising.

Is any of it going to help us become more productive as writers and focus on our own stories?  

The extroversion bias, is as Cain says, the world’s loss. We become successful writers when we sit ourselves down in our chairs, zone out the world and put words on paper/the screen. For that, we need some quiet just so that we can hear ourselves think, plot, or type the next word to make a sensible sentence. Writers, I believe, do their best work when they embrace their introvert selves.

Do we as writers do our best work, i.e, writing, when we are put into groups and make small talk? Does our creativity peak come when we’re in the midst of all the gabble? Or is it when we’re in isolation, on a quiet sunny day, like today, that we furiously type away at the keyboard?

What do you think?

The Fearless Ones

  

I've wanted to blog for the past three years and every time I started the 'what ifs' got me. Followed by a bout of the 'crazies.' So whenever the idea lit up in my head I doused it with a super-efficient water hose.

Yup, I was afraid. Yup, I was a scaredy cat. Yup, I let my fear talk me out of writing in the public domain for years. I would see friends, acquaintances, classmates and workmates set up blogs, create conversations and post away. The fearless ones. That's what I called them.

A few years ago, I started working on my current story. My WIP's MC, Priscilla Mayfair, is a determined twelve year old who is facing all kinds of trouble. In my first draft, she surmounted every obstacle, figured out every clue and solved the causes of her problems. She was my ideal heroine. By the second draft I'd made her a little less perfect. She couldn't solve the mystery on her own and needed help from her friends.  Still, as I worked with my critique group on rewrites I could feel there was something missing. Even when Priscilla was facing a dark dead end she wasn’t afraid. I needed her to reach inside her as much as she was reaching outside herself to become who she was and solve the clues of the mystery.

So I weaved in the threads to make Priscilla three dimensional. Now, Priscilla was not only overcoming obstacles, she was also working her way through her fears and fighting her own uncertainties. Acknowledging and accepting her fears had made Priscilla a richer and more real character. She’d become one of the fearless.

My MC had taught me something about the world. (Isn’t it usually the other way round?) Being brave isn’t about not being afraid. It’s about being afraid and doing it any way. It’s about being a scaredy cat and fighting your way out of fear paralysis and doing what you want to do. So this time round when my friends suggested a blog I said yes! Yup, I was still afraid but this time I wasn't going to allow fear to stop me from doing what I wanted.

Hello world of writers! I’m so happy to be blogging with the fearless writers at the shore Toni, Kimmy and Heather and look forward to good conversations and making friends