I’m a plotter. Writing mysteries means
that I need to know how my character is going to cross obstacles, find clues
and get to the bottom of things, alive, and in one piece by the end of the
story. Many times, during revision, after I’ve read or re-written a scene a
creeper of doubt will start to grow. ‘Does this sound plausible?’ doubt will
ask me. ‘Is it believable?’ it will nag at me. My first reaction is to dig up
that creeper and chuck it as far away from me as possible. ‘Think positive’ I
tell myself. Don’t second guess yourself. Doubt isn’t going to help you finish
the story.
My second reaction is different. I wait.
For that creeper to re-grow. It usually does. This time I don’t run away from
that feeling of doubt. I look at it. While it grows I examine it. After the
examination, I pat myself on the back. ‘I’ve faced doubt,’ I tell myself. ‘Now,
time to move on to the next scene.’
But it doesn’t end there. If there is
every even a niggling thought in the corner of my mind ‘does my character stay
true to herself?’ ‘does the scene ring true to the story arc?’ ‘would someone
really use feng shui to increase luck
in her life?’ that creeper of doubt will return and re-grow until I face it
square in the face and do a re-write.
Doubt keeps our compass pointing true.
It allows us to move from one point of view to another and view the facts with
truth. It’s uncomfortable! It’s painful! Doubt isn’t an easy emotion to allow
yourself to feel, especially, when you’re trying to keep positive through a
revision. Doubt, I’m constantly afraid, can lead me to a dead standstill. I may
get the ‘I’m no good! Why am I even trying to write this story!? Let me pick
another story’ feelings. But when I do allow doubt to linger, when I look at it
without negative connotations and allow it to swim steady in my head I start to
pick apart the various pieces in my scene. I examine each bit like a true Nancy
Drew –clearly and without judgment. It gets me energized to re-think the scene
from a different angle, to ask the what-if questions and then think up answers
to write a stronger, better scene.
What do you think? Do you say ‘hello’
to doubt or ask it to take a hike?
Agreed. Doubt is a good companion at times. There are times we need to doubt our writing and try to make it better - that's why we throw it at CPs, Betas, and go over it ourselves hundreds (thousands?) of times.
ReplyDeleteBut doubt can't take the over-hand. After all, we have to trust our writing and get out there and 'sell' it. There's also the riskt that if we doubt it too much, others will see that and doubt it too.
Thanks for the comment! Agreed. Doubt is so personal that we can't let it it loose! At the same time, we've got to allow ourselves to experience it!
DeleteSuch a good point! When I'm faced with doubt, I look at what I'm unsure of, and see if there is any immediate solution to my problem. If there is, I fix it, and if not, I move on. Then, something usually tells me if the doubt is more serious or not. If I can move on from it and put it out of my mind, that typically means it was something little, something I should really feel confident about. If it hangs around, however, creeping in whilst I'm trying to get on with my story, then I know I need to really take another look at it!
ReplyDeleteYou're so much better than I am at dealing with it! First, I go into denial. Then, if I do recognize it I'm quick to snap it shut like Pandora's box. But doubt's pretty stubborn. It kinda just sits there and waits me out till I give up. Thanks for your comment!
DeleteThe more I write, the more comfortable I've become with this feeling. In fact, I don't view it as doubt anymore (at least most of the time). I see it as my inner critique partner wanting to take a good look at what I've done and pushing to make it better.
ReplyDeleteToni, that's a wise point. Someday I hope to get there, too.
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