Second Guessing

I guess today's post is appropriate after Monday's post on The Art of Failing. Nearing the stage where I know my manuscript is almost ready for querying I decided to get that dreaded query letter written, and was ready to give up writing. I smiled on Monday when I read Archana's post. It resonated with me and what I was going through.

I've written a manuscript that I feel is tight. There's tension, the voice is there, the characters are living and breathing, but I couldn't write a query letter, or synopsis to save my life. I sat at the computer typing words only to delete them. This continued for quite some time. I felt like pulling my hair out and screaming. I consulted my outline for help. Nothing. I couldn't come up with a single thing to write in my query that sounded remotely good.

Courtesy FreeDigitalPhotos.net

At a loss I finally forced myself to write what I thought was a start. That's just what it was, a start. I promptly took to my critique partners for help. They are the reason I believe every writer should have a trusted group of writers to turn to. They turned right around and started giving me advice, asking questions, and in one case *cough, cough, Kimberly* could not make sense of it.

I laughed when I read Kimberly's response and thought, yup - it stinks. Several emails later I began to wonder why I was even bothering writing a query. I mean, if I can't even write a query based on the manuscript I wrote, what is the point of writing? Obviously if I can't make heads or tails of it, it must not be that great.

I thought, very briefly, of giving up. I almost hung up my hat at becoming a published author. But, when I got the email from Kimberly saying that my synopsis was finally tons better, I changed my mind, again. It just took time, lots of hair pulling, and annoying my poor CPs.

Eventually I did get a better query after pinning down that synopsis, but it still needed work. Kimberly suggested I take it to the QueryTracker forums. So I did. The responses were great and really helped. Yet, they will never compare to what I got from my lovely CPs. Lots of questions, honesty, and encouragement.

In the end I didn't give up. I wanted to for a moment, but I kept pushing through, forcing myself to face those fears of failure. After all, what do I have to lose? Nothing. In the end I gained something: I learned a lot about synopsis and query writing, and I learned a great deal about the art of failing quickly and multiple times before finding that shiny query letter.

Now I have to face an entirely different type of failing - rejections. They are inevitable.